About the end of July I find myself reflecting on the state of my marriage. It’s about now I start to give thought to dinner plans, gifts and other little things to celebrate our anniversary which is August 31st.
15 years together is a huge milestone and I want to do it right. We’ve been married for 8 of those years and we’ve gone through amazing times together and rough times together. It’s been a roller coaster but I also feel like when we come back to the station where we began it’s a victory to know that while life changes and things move as they should at the end of the day the person that I love and respect most still feels that way about me too.
A movie titled The Story of Us came out a few years ago and yet I still that it’s one of the most honest movies I have ever seen about the life of a marriage. How two people come together and eventually become an us and that becoming an us also is what can kill some marriages. Evolution is never an easy process in life. Going from child to adult includes those awkward teenaged years of acne, voice changes, body changes, body hair etc etc. Going from two people to an us often involves loosing that sense of self you had and in many cases folks feel like the loss of themselves is to hard to take. However if you get past the parts you think you are loosing you can revel in the things you are gaining.
If you haven’t seen it I recommend you make the time. Michelle Pfeiffer’s character has an amazing dialogue at the end of the movie that just makes you stop and think. There is also an amazing montage of video set to Classical Gas that I think can be seen in most marriages.
So this morning as I was dealing with the chaos that is making breakfast and trying to get the older two kids ready for Tae Kwon Do camp I found myself reflecting on that montage and instead of Rob Reiner’s vision I saw my own. Even if I was feeling frazzled, rushed and like I was chasing my tail and snapping to try and get everyone on the same page. I wanted to remind myself that this is the good stuff…even if it seems like the bad stuf.
Damn if I didn’t start to hum a little Classical Gas.