But today I don’t like them. I know as a mother one isn’t really supposed to say that out loud and yet it is the truth.
My kids are lovable, they are worthy of love and I love all the good in them. However, when the breakfast fights are the same day in and day out, and you are going round 12 over reminding them that they have made committments to people be it Tae Kwon Do camp or going to the local kid-centric summer event it’s hard to keep perspective. I see one of my major tasks as a mother to teach them to know that they are part of the world…not the centre of it. Appts don’t wait for you to show up, clients won’t follow your bliss because today you had to take 20 extra minutes to enjoy your milk, and deadlines don’t come with an option in them to work around your personal schedule. Stores won’t stay open because they sense you will need to buy milk at midnight (speaking about our local IGA that closes at 9 pm), school starts at 8:30 am sharp and committments are committments and your word should be your bond.
You have to work with folks for life to be a smooth ride. When good times come it is because it is all coming together. Your day out, your new recipe, your day’s events and when it all comes together we declare these things to make for the best days ever.
I never expected motherhood to be easy but I didn’t think that my days would be spent with reminding myself that these battles get me nowhere. Sadly these battles are the same battle everyday…I’m not winning them and often I would say that I am indeed loosing them because eventually I loose patience with them. It’s not a victory when that happens and it sets the tone for negativity the rest of the day. Tell me I won 50 million and I’d tell you that I’d lost another moment to a fight that didn’t need to happen and now has tainted my whole day.
I guess loving them means that you just don’t give up on them. So tomorrow I will get up and do it all again believing that today will be the day when the surprise me with how smooth it all can go.
However, I am ready to throw in the towel on War of the Breakfast and I am not looking forward to school in the fall when I need two kids out the door and myself to work.