Recently I decided I need to make a huge change in my relationship with my kids…I was going to have to try and embrace the chaos that is life. It’s harder than it sounds though.
I often feel like I need to put my kids, my life, my things in order for life to be successful and it’s always been working against me. The hurrier I go the behinder I get and by the end of the day we are all stressed and sniping at each other. It’s not made for family harmony. Upon reading an article about celebrities that just roll with it when life hits I wondered if that problem with most of my stresses is me. I try to control the uncontrollable, fight the fights that aren’t worth fighting and get stressed over every little thing that goes off the rails. Grocery shopping take longer than a couple of hours and I stress, breakfast on a weekend takes longer than 10 minutes and I stress…I could go on.
So upon reflection I decided to Embrace Chaos! It’s not been an easy thing to embrace though but often the big changes are the hardest.
So with my new matra I tackled Saturday morning reminding myself that I can be more relaxed and I don’t have to fight every battle that comes my way. It’s the best Saturday morning that the kids and I have had together in a very long time. Nicholas was the only one who was having a rough morning but 3 teething cutting at once will do that to you. Kevin had a morning that wasn’t broken by yelling and I was feeling so good that I took Nicholas with me shopping while Nathaniel and Ashleigh were at Tae Kwon Do.
At the end of the day I was feeling good. I had hardly yelled all day. I won more battles than I had lost. I even got Ashleigh to eat a new breakfast she’d never tried before with minimal fuss. Nathaniel took time to help finding Ashleigh’s sparring equipment before class after being asked only once. Nicholas tried German Potato Salad and liked it. It was the kind of day I dreamed about and I realized that maybe the one making motherhood so hard for me is me.
I have learned that taking a step back can work. Meeting them halfway got me further than being a hard ass. It might not always work with them but maybe the rough days would be less rough because of the fact that the biggest stress comes from me. Embracing the chaos of family life might be the best thing I could do for myself.
Of course I am pretty sure quitting smoking will have proven to be easier than always embracing chaos.
One day at a time though. One day at a time.